Door

What do you call a 32 inch door in a 36 inch hole with no shims, support, or weatherproofing that has a noticeable draft around the frame?  You call it the back door on my house.  What do you call me having to fix it?  You call that Thursday, my day "off".

A Picture

Don't send me a webarchive file.  That is not a picture.  You've managed to make a simple process (emailing a jpeg) into something that requires me to download and install Safari because you're an idiot. 

NBC

Won't stream the Macy's Parade.  Earthcam does, but Earthcam is overloaded like mad.  Because NBC won't stream the Macy's Parade.  Fuck you NBC, you luddite fucks.

Monitored

A cup of coffee and a touchscreen register monitor are not friends, no matter how hard a clumsy cashier wants them to be.  Mr. Screwdriver got a good workout today, disassembling something some Chinese Dell employee probably got paid less to assemble than the value of the coffee that caused the problem.

Donut drop

Bought a donut dropper off eBay.

Seller shipped it full of oil.

It arrived empty of oil.  The box it arrived in on the other hand...

Basement

Flooded again.  4th time in 2 years. Anyone want to buy a house.  Or help me burn down a house.

Ticket

Got one this morning for cutting through a parking lot because a stalled car was blocking the turn lane.  Good job on your quotas, officer.